Hold My Heart

Recently I heard this song by Tenth Avenue North called "Hold My Heart" It's becoming one of my favorites I think! Thought I'd just share the lyrics with you.....

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long till I see your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say you are
Wont You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cause I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to Me
I'm on my knees, Father will You run to me?

So many questions without answer, your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear you call my name.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

The second verse in this song seems so real to me. Afraid to close my eyes, because soon it could slip away. For awhile after my Mom died, it was even hard for me to truly love someone because I was afraid God would just take them. I can't live with that fear though... He's holding my heart! <3

Nothingness...

It's been forever since I've blogged, hasn't it? Since I've moved to IL it's seemed weird to keep a blog though. For various reasons actually....since I have time now and want to write though, I figured I'd update you here! :)

Life has slowed down a lot since canning season. The younger ones have started school again and Jordan is working a lot of hours for a farmer, but as for me I'm kind of just existing. I work part time for a couple near us but other than that I try to help out around home. I don't do that much though, so there is a LOT of room for improvement! I think I have to change my mindset though because right now it's hard for me to get involved with the school work for the kids and to try to be creative to do things with the younger ones. Pray for me! :) I almost feel like right now that I'm "stuck" (that sounds bad, but I don't mean like stuck here or anything..i love it here) what I mean is that I feel like there should be a greater purpose in life for me than what I am doing now. And yes, that is my own fault, cause obviously I am not doing it, but I need guidance. Awhile ago Mom bought me a Bright Lights group study so that I could be preparing to start my own group. I've about read through all the material but at the same time I feel inadequate to even lead one and then my faith must be so small cause it's hard for me to believe God will bring anyone. :( Once again, please be praying!

Oh well, while I'm thinking of it, I thought I'd post a link to a video I watched a few weeks ago. Most of you have probably already seen it, but my family and I thought it was incredible! THE BUTTERFLY CIRCUS . I have to remember God has each of our lives in His hand and it's a journey and he's turning us all into something beautiful! :) He has a plan AND a purpose!

In the last two weeks I was working on another song too. There was a stretch of about 2 days that I was struggling with missing my Mom in Heaven. For some reason writing helps me a lot when I get like that. So I wrote..but this time tried to write it from a perspective of someone hurting, but not just ME hurting. Anyone who has gone through something hard. When writing a few people came to mind. Friends who have had cancer affect their life somehow, a friend I knew who was in a serious car wreck, and those who have had young children taken from them. ALL of them hurt and I'm sure ask similar questions I ask. After finishing the song though someone asked me why I write just "sad" songs. It really offended me at first but I think the thing is we write what we know. And me being who I am, I write when I'm sad and so with that combination, sad songs come about! :) Do you all think there is something wrong with writing about pain and hurting though? I'm not negative in it....well, I'll let you be the judge. Here's the chorus to the song.

"I still hurt, I still cry...All of this time and I still don't know why
It's still real, life just goes on...But God is the healer of my life and those that are gone"

When writing this song I wanted to show that even though you are a Christian and the one who was taken was a Christian, it's still difficult losing them. But we do have an anchor holding us and to comfort us. There is hope!

Well I'm kind of just rambling on and on I guess. I have a few events in the upcoming few months that I'm pretty excited about. My sister is about to have her baby, any day now so I can't wait for that and then my other sister from MO is coming up here for Thanksgiving so that will be really great. I'm looking forward to having her see into my life up here a little bit! :) And then in December a dear friend of mine is getting married back in MO, so my family here will be traveling back for that! I can't wait!!!! So a lot of fun and exciting things planned!

Hope you all have been having a great fall! Oh and check out my other blog for some pictures from a recent hike we had at the Nachusa Grasslands! :)

oh btw...the pic at the top is of me and my friend Anna. We met this summer and she's been a great friend. My family has really been enjoying getting together with theirs! :) Just figured I should explain the random pic I posted! ;)

Walk Down Memory Lane

Last month I took a week trip down to Missouri to celebrate my birthday with my family there. I had a great time with them and they had a neat idea planned for me for my 21st birthday. Tara, Mandy and Joan sat down ahead of time and tried to think of lots of places that were important to me growing up, or that had funny memories tied to them. As most people know I have about the WORST memory so some of these places took refreshers for me so I could remember where I was at! :D (not too many though) Very sadly though, almost all the places have either been knocked down or have changed companies, so if you see me outside a "Bed, Bath, and Beyond" don't think it's just a great store to me...it didn't USED to be that! ;) I'll explain under each picture though! :) Hope you enjoy this little peak into my past though!

Tara's house! Lot's of my time was spent here before moving up here

This little cabin/shed thing was on the property I lived on from the time I was 15 to when I moved to my Dads. It was an ugly old shed though, and we completely redid it! This holds a lot of memories though! We would all work on this as a family each night, and this was where we saw the first signs of my Mom not talking right and knew something was wrong. We had ideas for a long time after she died calling it "Peri's Playhouse" and having it as a store selling canned things we made and quilts and stuff

Me and my dog, Macy!!!! Greatest dog, left her in MO though!

This is my Dad's house where I lived for about a year a half...that's Lane with me!

The mall! ;) Spent too much time here growing up!

This is the paint store my Dad has been doing business with for EVER! At least as long as I've been alive! :) We used to go up quite often to see everyone and Mandy and I would always look through all the wallpaper books. lol

Mid Rivers Christian Church. This was the church I went to for most of my 'younger' life. Did TONS of plays and things here, guess this is where I first started acting. ;) This was a big time memory for Tara too!

LOL, the library! This is more of a joke place. I did go to the library quite often, but I think it made the top 21 places because I never could find my way there. It was only a mile from my house, but I am directionally challenged and well, it was just hard for me to get to! :)

Gou-Jon Academy of Dance...I spent most of my life here. :) As you can see it's currently nothing right now. My dance teacher passed away and they closed down, but I spent 6 days out of the week here for many MANY years.

Pundman Ford! Not sure why we always had to go to this Ford dealership, but we did. Every vehicle we bought I think came from here, except our little bug! They always gave out free popcorn here! :)

The sign says JJ's but when I was younger it was known as "The Roadhouse" Think I only ate there once but my Mom liked this place and Mandy and Tara seemed to remember it a ton! I don't remember liking it very much though! :)

Dance Techniques West...my first dance studio. I was not even 2 years old starting dance here. It has also closed down, but I have fond memories from that studio! :) I was young when I left though, 8 or so.

Can't explain this picture too much, but I came here quite a bit with my Mom when I was a lot younger. Holds quite a few memories. And right on the other side of this building was a VERY CREEPY cemetery, that always scared Mandy and me!

This was Phar-Mor (could be spelled wrong) I was young when it changed but I have one distinct memory from here...! I was 4 and my brother was pretending to play "beauty shop" with me at home before leaving and I told him not to really cut it and he said okay, but as we are walking into this store, my Mom noticed that a chunk of my hair had been cut out right in the back, my hair had been really long and he cut it quite short! Let's just say she was NOT happy with Kyle, but was able to hide the missing piece of hair! :)

The house I grew up in! :)

Our mailbox! :)

My neighbor's house. Clark and Kathleen Meyers and they had 3 girls that we'd play with all the time! :) Kathleen babysat us sometimes too! :)

THEN......and NOW! This picture was taken at City Hall in St. Peters. We'd go there all the time to get pics taken! Joan and my Mom would get us all dressed up and then just taken us to the park here and get pictures! The first one was taken in the same park when I was around 5 or so.

Chad Theatrical...this was where we bought our dance shoes and leotards and stuff! :)

Can't forget this place! :) Fritz's Frozen Custard! Our favorite place to go for ice cream..and we went OFTEN! :)

I've got a lot more pictures from the park that I'll probably post tomorrow! It'll just be a separate post though for the pictures. :) Hope you enjoyed the walk! ;) Oh, and I didn't take all the pictures, Joan had her camera, so she has more of the 21 places! :)

SMILE

Today I was doing my most favorite thing...canning....YEA RIGHT! :D Let's just say that canning is NOT on my list of "likes" but it's something that has to be done and I need to learn to like it. So, yea...I'm still working on that! ;) I had a pretty bad attitutude about it earlier today though and finally had to just change my thinking and it became fun today working with Mom making the salsa and cutting up the tomatoes and peppers. God gave me a little "smile" today too, so that 'kept me goin' :) Isn't God GOOD! :)

(Just so you know, I did NOT do anything to this pepper...this is how it looked when I opened it up! That'd cheer anyone up, right? :) Thanks God!)

My Princess Party!

I can't begin to tell you what an amazing day I had yesterday! :) My family definitely gave me the "royal" treatment! :) On Monday they made me go to bed by 11:00 telling me that even princesses have bedtimes! ;) I had no idea they were going to stay up and DECORATE! :) Tuesday morning was perfect though. They had me close my eyes as I came down the stairs to find the prettiest dining room ever! :) They had used pink sheer fabric around the windows and doors with white lights in it to make a very "pretty" soft look to it.

There were flower petals all over the floor and heart swirly things from the ceiling fan. Floating candles in a clear bowl with pink water and sparkley confetti stuff on the table! Just PERFECT! Mom did an amazing job sewing all the dresses and outfits for the boys! She really outdid herself on this! I am definitely not worth all that she did for me to make my day extra special! We had a fun time getting ready for the party and then around 1:30 or so we started it! :)

(The head piece is NOT part of the outfit!)

(Honored guest...Esau...lol)

(Dad and Me)

(The girls with Dad)

Mom with the help of Gabrielle and Jess I think made a delicious mexican meal! (my favorite!) Dad had to leave quick after eating for work so we did gifts real quick right there! :) Some were uh...umm...quite embarrassing! (Some pics I just CANT post) They were funny though, and well...I think it was JAMIE'S idea! :D My family got me very nice things though and one in particular was a scrapbook for the party. Mom got all different stickers and things for it! So we got quite a few pictures to fill the book! :) Oh, and Mom made me a shirt! I thought she had bought it cause it looked SO good, but she didnt! It's perfect though! ;)(Can anyone guess who I got this from?..JESS AND JAMIE)

(the gift....ahh!)

After gifts we had a "funny" time dancing! :D None of us really know what we are doing when it comes to that, but we tried anyway! :D Christian was somewhat willing to learn but Jordan just liked to twirl me around as fast as he could and get me SO dizzy! Mom was even getting into it! ;)

(Mom, Me and Gabrielle)

So after dancing we had cake, oooooh So good! Mom made a heart shaped cake but it was chocolate with reeses peanut butter cups in it!!! DELICIOUS!!! :)


After eating we took some cake to our neighbors, Dale and Addie. Addie is very sick but I had promised her that we'd go over in our outfits to show her. I'm not even sure she remembered me, but she definitely knows Mom, so it was a treat I think for her to see everyone so dressed up...or those who STAYED in their outfits! :P We had decided that it'd only be fitting to watch a princess movie that night so ALL dressed up we went to the movie store in town to pick out one! :D We got quite the looks but the girl there was really nice to us, maybe she thought we were royalty! Jordan was too embarrassed of us though, so he stayed in the van. :D

(This was at night...it looked SO pretty!)

When we got home I changed out of my dress and got to do what I love most, well almost most...RIDING! :) Jordan took Gabrielle and I riding for a couple hours. I'm seriously thinking it's my new favorite thing to do! Can't even describe how much I love galloping through the farmers field, seems like the whole world is disappearing and its just me and my horse! :) LOVE IT! :)

Anyway....on to the party! :) We finished the night by watching "Princess Protection Program" Surprisingly it was pretty good! :) If my family reads this...Thanks SO much for the wonderful birthday! :) And for treating me like a princess! :) Love you all!(This is Mom's great grandma's necklace that she let me wear)

August 14th...

This is one date that I hate very much. This was the date that marked the beginning of my changed life. Never again on this earth would my Mom live with NO cancer and who would have known that only 5 short months later she wouldn't even be with me any longer.

I'm trying really hard to not dwell on all of this because it seems foolish. My Mom is in Heaven and I have a wonderful loving family here with me, why be sad? But it doesn't work...I still get sad, I still miss her a LOT, and there are still even parts of me that long for her to be back. Just to be with her one more time.

I went back and reread the blog post I did last year at this time and it seems crazy to me even how much life has changed in this one year. The past 6 months life has been incredible. I love it! I have that same joy that I had when my Mom was alive. Okay, maybe not exactly the same because that hole is still somewhat there. How could it ever fully go away, but my heart HAS been restored to an extent and I'm so thankful to God that He has blessed me with some family that does love me unconditionally. It's like my Mom can't be here for me, but God's allowed someone else to come and fill that spot and I know my Mom would be so happy.

If any of you are interested in reading the other blog post I'll post the link to where I blogged at. It explains more of what I went through on this day. The pain and heartache and why I hate the 14th of August so much. Old blog post

Please be praying for me that I can look to the Lord tomorrow as I go through this day. That I'd look at all the blessings God has given me instead of the tremendous loss.

I miss you Mom and I'll never forget you! I'll love you forever! ;(

LUKE IS ONE!

Today is my baby brother's first birthday! :) I know I don't usually post too much on siblings birthdays but it being his first I thought I'd at least update you all with a few photos. :) Luke has been such a blessing to everyone in the family. What a little bundle of joy he is. It's hard to believe he is one, but at the same time it seems like it's been FOREVER since we were at the hospital with him being born. I guess just so much has happened since then! :) I'm so thankful to God though he gave me Luke to be my brother. I just love him so much! Love you Luke!

Country Princess

Well, since it's taking me forever to get together a post of my OK trip I figured I'd blog about this first! :) Kind of has to do with OK, so it'll work. My friend Bethany has been going through her registration papers for her goats and needed to name them all, well to my surprise she named one after me! How sweet huh? She named this little goat, "Country Princess" I guess she saw that my Mom called me that a few times so she liked the name and used it! :) Thought I'd post some pictures of her too though, since it's the first goat that Bethany is keeping that she's named after me!! :D Exciting, huh? :)

HaPpY BiRtHdAy MoM!

Today is no ordinary day...but it's my new Mom's birthday! Although it's only been 6 months since I've lived here, there are already so many qualities about Mom I love and look up to. Most importantly is her ability to love anyone and everyone. I wouldn't be here today if she didn't have the heart she does. How many people do you know take in 20 year olds? Also Mom is about the most organized person I know. Some of us kids about drive her crazy with our lack of organization.....not ME of course!! ;) :D (ya right!)

She rises very early and is the last to sleep at night just so she has everything caught up for the day, Whether it's dishes, laundry, or school stuff. Mom also has such a generous heart and is a servant to so many. The way she so diligently serves her family is such an example to me. I know it'll be hard shoes to fill when I have the chance to be a Mom to a family but I hope I can have the servants heart she has. I could go on and on and say how talented, creative, honest/blunt ;), forgiving, and fun person she is but almost all of you already know that all! So Happy Birthday Mom and thanks so much for choosing to be my Mom!!!!


...This passage SO describes Mom, but I'm adding things in parenthesis to further explain it and to apply to her!... ;)

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. (He has no lack of anything with her!) She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax (maybe more like cotton fabrics and grain..is flax a grain), and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. (We have a garden at Jaspers, so that's kinda far!) She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. (See...this is Mom completely! We don't have servants, but she gives food to the neighbors each day!) She considers a field and buys it (Or our neighbors house...lol), from her profits she plants a vineyard.(Guess what...the house she wants HAS a vineyard) She girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms.(She has to be strong to pick me up to tickle me!) She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, yes she reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. (I'm so glad she doesn't really have us in scarlet all the time but we do stay warm) She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. (Dad's pretty well known I guess!) ;) She makes linen garments and sells them; and supplies sashes for the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Mom you are so beautiful on the inside AND out!) Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."
Proverbs 31:10-31 (with added stuff)

Love you!!!

Your Country Princess, Danielle ;)

Lincoln Park Zoo

Well since it's this late I'm not really going to write alot but just share some pictures with you all! When I flew back into Chicago my family was there to pick me up and had such a fun day planned for us! :) We went to the Lincoln Park Zoo. What a shock it was to go from 100 degree weather to 60 degree weather though!! Brrr!!! Not sure IL EVER gets hot!!! :D We had such a wonderful time though! I loved just spending time with my family and getting to see them all again! Love you guys!

(Chicago)

(Gabrielle and Isaac)

(Dad...love you!)

(Standing in line for the carousel...notice the sweatshirt?)

The Joy of Work

Well as most of you know I am back from OK now and I had a wonderful trip, but have no pictures to post right now. I'm waiting on pictures from Anna so I can do one nice looonnngg post! :) But in the meantime, I thought I'd share this with you! :) Today marks the beginning of something new for me!!!! YAY! :) I got a blister which will turn into a callous soon, right below my middle finger from WORKING!! :) I've had callouses many times but from other kinds of things like playing guitar or sometimes raking, but never from just general work. I've made comments lots of times before about Jordan's hands because he has them on both hands. I had asked how he got them, thinking there would be some sort of thing he had done and they all just say..."work!" So, I'm here to say today I got my first one from WORKING with Jordan! :) I at least know what it's from though, trimming, trimming, and more trimming! :) (Actually I didn't do that much at all, but I guess my hands aren't used to it) I had fun though and am happy that Jordan is patient enough to teach me how to help him with his jobs. And I'm thrilled I will have a callous!!!!! :) It's hard to see it in the picture, but that's the best I could get! :)

Thank you Jordan for giving me this opportunity!! :) Thanks for letting me help you also!

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;" Colossians 3:23

KITTENS!!

Well it's a rainy day today and I really have so much to get done but I wanted to get this blog post in before I leave on my trip. :) Last week while at Addie's house (the neighbor I help) I noticed there were 6 kittens! They all looked so cute so after I was done working, some of us kids went back over to play with them and get some pictures!! Immediately Gabrielle, Isaac and I clamed which ones were ours. :) There were actually two sets of kittens. The white ones and then the tiger looking ones and the grey one. (We claimed those ones) I had the smallest tiger looking one and her name was Whiskers, and Isaac named his Buttons and then I don't know if Gab named hers. She got the ugly looking one because his eyes were all glued shut sort of. :( She doctored him up though and I think he's looking more normal! I'm glad I got the pictures when I did though because Addie's daughter took home the 3 white ones since the Mom wasn't around. They were so so cute! I got a few pictures though, so hope you enjoy! I'm not even an animal person and especially a CAT person, but these kittens were adorable!!!!

(Does it look like I'm squishing her?)(Isaac and Buttons)
(Gabrielle and Mr. Gross Eyes)(This is Whiskers...she was SO cute and relaxed, the only kitten to lay on it's back)

(Yours truly...Whiskers!)

_________________________________________________________________

So anyway....tonight is my last night here for awhile. I leave for MO tomorrow and will be there until Tuesday. Then from there I will fly to OK to visit my friends! :) Bethany will be turning 20 so I get to go and celebrate with her! She's having a beach party so that should be TONS of fun!!!! :) I'm having fun just preparing for it! ;)

It sure will seem weird being gone from everyone. But I think they are ready for the break! I am looking forward to seeing my sisters and friends though too! :) I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about when I get back home.

Family Vacation!!!!

Okay, don't be too mad at me! It's been forever since I blogged but what can I say? I have a life now! ;) I really should try to update more because we do a lot and there are tons of pics I could post but haven't, so I'm sorry!This trip we just went on was definitely worth blogging though! :) Awhile ago Jess and Jamie had the idea for us to take a family trip to the sand dunes in Michigan and camp. I'll be honest the thought of going to MI to camp and hike did not sound fun to me, but I wasn't going to tell them that! ;) Plus with all the comments about not doing things with the family I had to just be a trooper with this one. :DAs soon as we got there though my opinion of the whole trip changed SOOO much! The sand dunes were AMAZING! :) We first got there and set up our tents and got some things organized then it was time to check out the BIIIIGGG hill! ;) It was like right next to our camp site so that was nice but boy was that a climb! The hill was huge and since we were all just getting over colds it wasn't the easist climb! But like Aunti Dar's cell phone thing...once we made the climb it was worth the view! How gorgeous! :) We were way way over the tree line and could see Lake Michigan from where we were at and just everything! I was pretty much in awe at first at all that God had created...truly amazing! :)

Due to no cell phone service down at the campsite I had to make some calls while at the top of the hill too! :) Txted some pictures to people and then called my sister to tell her about it! :) What can I say...I was excited, okay? :)Since it was later by the time we got up there we only hiked a little bit but it was sooo fun! It was like we were playing in a huge sandbox. We took off our flip flops and just ran barefoot! The only downfall was having sand EVERYWHERE...not the best feeling! :D 

(Okay, I look REALLY weird, but like I said...sand EVERYWHERE)

So we went back down that huge hill and had dinner, chili on fritos! Jamie had the idea to make them and they were soo yummy! It was a cool idea also, just pour the chili right in the bag of fritos. They also made these really neat "pudgie pies" (not sure if I am spelling that right) I didn't have one the first night but got braver the second night. They put lemon pie filling and marshmellows in them as a dessert...yuuummm! So good! :)

(This little critter was a a frequent visitor, but at the time of the picture he was getting into our neighbor's trash! ;)

The second day was the best! We got an early start, kind of, and hiked back up the HUGE hill and hiked over to the beach!!! We decided to leave our flip flops at the tent and go barefoot the whole way which was smart, except for the walk home. At first the water was soo cold but by the time we got so numb it felt pretty good! :) Gabrielle and I were determined to swim out to the water marker thingy and we thought for sure it'd be pretty deep out there, but as we started to swim it got deeper and deeper than shallow, so it fooled us! :D It was quite cold though! :)

The kids had fun burying eachother in the sand and making Sand Mermen. :) I think it was a fun day for everyone! :) The guys brought the frisbee too, so I saw that flying around a lot and lots of rock skipping. When it was time to go home the sand was VERY hot so we knew we wouldn't make it going home that way! We ended up taking some wooded kind of path and then the roads so although it wasn't hot on our feet it still didn't feel the best and it was one long walk! :) We must have got a lot more leg muscle after this trip. :D I can't say it enough though, it was SO SO SO much fun!

That night the sunset was SOO pretty so a few of us hiked back up and sat on top of one of the dunes and watched the sunset over the lake. I figured it's the perfect spot for a proposal one day! :D So the only bad thing from that day was the sunburns...we didn't REALIZE we were getting as much sun as we were and well...we are paying for it now. :( Poor Jess has the reddest legs I've ever seen and many of us had some red faces. My back was the main thing that hurt but thanks to God it is feeling better today!

(Isaac picked these flowers for me, RIGHT after we talked about proposals...isn't he SO sweet?)

On our way home we stopped in St. Joseph's Harbor. What a change in weather though because we were in like pants and sweatshirts, it was chilly! It was totally worth the 5 dollars though to see the light house down there! ;) We also got to do some shopping which is always fun! :) Thanks for the WONDERFUL trip, it was great!Also, it was just nice to spend time away from everything with family where there really aren't too many distractions. :)

Mother's Day This Year

What a strange mix of emotions I had yesterday as we were celebrating Mother's Day. I had this tremendous joy just to finally have a Mom again but at the same time missing my Mom and wondering how she'd feel about everything. I know though that if my Mom had the choice she would want me right where I am at now. She would love Dawn and the rest of the family and would for sure want me there.

So we had a nice time at church and all the guys and Dad's did all the cooking, which was sweet. We had hamburgers and hotdogs and then everything to go with that. Afterwards a bunch of us played kickball....man, that was SOOOO much fun! I don't think I had played since 5th grade, but it was a blast! Thanks to Rachel though, because I wouldn't have even been able to play in the dress I had on so she gave me some extra clothes!!!! :) My shoulder is still a little sore from my sliding into third base, but hey, it was worth it! (I learned AFTER the slide that you should never slide diving head first into the plate) :D

After kickball it was time to leave and their cousins came over. :) We had another cook out with them and just hung out. It was a very fun day and we did get some pictures so when I get back to the house I'll upload them. (I'm at the neighbors) :)

Well I hope you all had a very Happy Mother's Day! :)

HaPpY BiRtHdAy MaNdY!

Happy Birth...Day To You..to you! Happy Birth...Day To You...tooo yoooouuu! Happy Birth...Day...Dear........Maaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddyyyyyy
....1, 2, 3, Happy Birth...Day To You...Happy Birthday! ;) Well this will be the very first birthday I have not spent with Mandy. I'll be honest it feels VERY weird not being with her on her birthday but she knows that I am thinking of her ALL day and praying for her as the day goes on. We were txting last night back and forth and she let me know that she was just having a hard time with this birthday. Not that I am some important person in her life, but not only is she missing my Mom this birthday but I am not there either. It was weird, because last night I was struggling too with just missing my Mom and feeling strange that I wouldn't be there for Mandy's birthday. I got to thinking of my life growing up and how much that Mandy and I did together. I think when we were younger we were about inseperable. BEST BUDS! I know that doesn't always last, we grow up and change but Mandy I want you to know that no matter WHAT happens, if I move to Alaska and your in Hawaii or if you change to be a completely different person, I will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS love you, not matter what!
I'm so thankful for the love God has shown me and that I can love you and my other family with this unconditional love.

So, Mandy even though I can't be there with you today, pretend I am, and that I'm celebrating right along with you. And look at these pictures no matter if we are 2, 8, 12, 19, 21....we will always be close and best friends! I love you so much Mandy!Happy Birthday!
(Did you catch the tune to the b-day song at the beginning?) ;)

Just a little of everything!

It's been forever since I've written and a lot has happened. Since I can't remember everything though I'm going to keep this short and just tell about the last few days I guess. :) Well wait, first for some updates. Thanks for all the prayers for my grandparents. My Grandma is at the nursing home now and doing very well. My sisters go and see her at least once a week and I think there are others there that she can interact with. I'm so thankful to God that her spirits are staying up and she is recovering so well! What an answer to prayers that is. Thanks to Hannah also for sending her a card! She absolutely LOVED it! She was touched and so was my sister Tara to see you had written to her! :) Thanks for being such a blessing to her! :) My other grandma, Grandma Moody, is doing well also! Praise God! I talked to her the day before Easter and she was feeling great! She had one chemo treatment so far and said that she wasn't sick at all and was feeling good. They told her after her second treatment would be when she would lose her hair, so it hasn't come to that yet, but I think she may take it okay. I let her know that so so many people were praying for her and she said to tell everyone Thanks! :)

While thanking God for the healing and recovery of my Grandmas I am sad to say that Tom, my friend who I had mentioned with cancer, went home to be with the Lord. :( I put a sad face, but in reality, this isn't a sad thing. He's at home now and in no more pain. I had no idea how tough it would be for me hearing the news of his passing, but I didn't take it easy. I think for multiple reasons it was hard, one being this was the first funeral and death of someone I knew since my Mom's. To most of you that wont make sense because what does Tom's death have to do with my Mom's and I guess I really have no answer to that, but i DO know that it brings up lots of memories and I just feel like I get to go through all the grieving again....not fun! All of my family was so sweet though to make a way for me to be able to get back to MO to be there for the funeral. So, on Tuesday, Jess, Jamie, Jordan and I packed up and left! We made it in time for the visitation and then went to the funeral the next day. Besides Jamie getting the flu and throwing up the whole way home the trip was nice. :P (Sorry Jamie you got so sick!) :(

I had a great time on Wednesday going to Mama Lee's house! Jess and Jamie took me with them to her house. We went to help her clean a few things, but I think I did more talking and looking through magazines then I did clean! :D Jess and I enjoyed looking through the ads and finding places for Jamie to take us too! ;) Thanks Jessica and Jamie for letting me tag along for the day!


For the last few days here the weather has been GORGEOUS so we were able to work outside and get some things done. Thursday was fun powerwashing one of the barns and getting it ready to be painted. Then on Friday we spent like ALL day outside!! I LOVED IT! We started with scraping paint from the side we powerwashed and then got our paint brushes ready for work! ;) I think there were like 7 of us painting at one time! Needless to say, we got it done very quickly! So now, one side of the barn is looking VERY nice! For those of you who are wondering, we are not painting the BIG barn, just the one that looks similar to a garage. :) After painting though we went to the park to hike. Well, I had no idea how tiring hiking could be! And I think I was a bit confused what I was getting myself into. :P I wore my flip flops and we went on like a THREE hour hike! My foot kills me now! We also had to hike through some creek thing with freezing water, I think I proved to the group I am a woosey! Tennis Shoes for SURE next time! ;) What a fun time though we had all hiking together out there! :)

Yesterday us girls spent most of the day going to garage sales and rummage sales! Unfortunately the night before I had tried riding one of the horses and well, didn't realize I was so allergic to horses, so I still had some effects from that on Saturday. One of my eyes was QUITE puffy so I wore sunglasses into most of the dark buildings we went into to cover up my eye. I think I might have drawed more attention to myself wearing sunglasses indoors than I would have with my eye. We found some clothes though and Mom and Dad bought me lots more cherry stuff for my one day, hopefully soon, gonna be kitchen! :D I love the stuff!! Ice cream dishes, plates, a pitcher and this adorable CHERRIES sign! :)
Today was Gabrielle's piano recital. I had a lot of fun, I've never been to one before so it was pretty neat! :) She did an EXCELLENT job and so did the other students who played. It was neat to see the other girls I know playing also! :) Good job Kalebaugh girls!!!! Faith, who is the teacher, did an excellent job as well! :) I did take pictures but since I'm in a hurry to get this up because I need to call my friend BESH, I didn't edit the pics, sorry :(

Becky and FaithCrystal

Gabrielle and Faith

Rachel and Faith

Jordan, doesn't he look like he's having fun? ;)

Kaleb and Jessica...aren't they cute! ;)

Isaac...adorable!

I've been thinking about my Mom a whole lot the last 2 days. Yesterday especially, I guess since I was in a groggy kind of mood anyway, I don't know, but then when we passed a street called Peri Dr. that was VERY weird for me. Never in my life had I seen someone with that name and especially a street named that. I'm glad God does little things like that though for me. Today Pastor John was speaking about the passage from Luke chapter 20 and how Mary was weeping at the empty tomb, not realizing Jesus had rose from the dead. He then started to compare that with James, where we are to take joy in our trials and knowing God works all things for our good, he asked us how many of us were crying next to empty tombs. It made me think a lot about my own situation and with my Mom's death. I cried a LOT and was angry with God. That went on for a long time actually, confused as to if God even could love me. With all the things that were happening in my life it felt like it wasn't possible. I WAS crying next to an empty tomb....God knew what I had to go through and knew what I could handle. And I had to go through all of that to end up where I am right now. And He isn't finished with me yet, just right now though I am having more and more peace with my Mom's death. Don't get me wrong, I am not HAPPY one bit with what happened, but I realize that God had to take my Mom to teach me a lot of things and for me to meet the Lees and for them to become part of my family. What a blessing that has come from my Mom's death, a whole lot more family! As I sit here and think about what I just have written I feel like most of you will think I'm so cruel that I could be saying that....and I'm wondering the same thing. I don't mean that I want my Mom dead, or that I'm content with what God decided..I'm not, but I AM thankful that I am seeing good come from it. More than just good, God knew my heart and knew what I needed and has given it to me. And I'm thankful to Him for that. And I know that my Mom is in Heaven with him also rejoicing witht he decision God has made, to place me with such a wonderful family! ;( ;( Thank you God!

Prayer Updates

Thank you to all of those who have been praying for my Grandma. I've gotten two emails this past week giving updates on her and they've been quite encouraging. The first one mentioned that she was out of ICU and getting physical therapy in her normal room. They did have her ankles tied to the bed though so that she wouldn't move her hip. :( Sounded mean but it was necessary. She was in a lot of pain too and still is but I think she is in better spirits now. The email I got today said that she was going to be moved to the care facility soon, (like tomorrow maybe) which is good. From the email it sounds like she is okay with this decision. Her doctor will be there regularly to see her and then nurses there 24/7. There are many people from her church that have been visiting which has been a tremendous blessing. I'm still praying a lot for her but thanking God so much for healing her this much already. I was thinking too....if any of you have extra time or would like to make a little card or send a note, she would love that! I know it seems weird, because none of you know her, but she'd be so encouraged by that. Even if you just sent her some scriptures that'd be great! :) Just let me know if you'd want to do that.

As for other news....the thing that I couldn't share before I can now. :( While I was in MO, I found out that my other Grandma, Grandma Moody, has cancer. :( What a shock that was finding out. She's never been sick, never been in the hospital and well....she's the last person I would have expected. When I found out I had to pretend I didn't know, she wasn't telling anyone and then my sister didn't even know, so that's why I couldn't post it. Please PLEASE be praying for her though. She starts treatments tomorrow (Thursday) for the cancer. From what I hear she has lymphoma, but there is also cancer on her lung and in her neck. :( The doctors are saying it's treatable but as soon as I hear the word 'cancer' it means death to me. God can do anything though, and if it's his will He can heal her also, and I just have to remember that. :( Also with hearing this news not only was I devastated because she has this awful disease, but it brought back so many memories. My Grandma is the closest one to me besides my Mom that has been diagnosed. Please pray for her health and for her soul.

As for updates here....I've just been editing it seems like. I came home with 6000 pictures to edit and boy does that take a LONG time. I've posted some pictures from one of the photoshoots I was on if you want to check those out, they are on the photo blog I have. Yesterday I worked a lot more on wedding pictures but they get tiring. :( Also my neck and shoulder and back started hurting pretty bad. We are guessing it's from all the computer work I'm doing, so I've tried to take a break from that. :) It IS my job though, so I need to get them done.

Kaleb's birthday was Monday, so we had fun celebrating that Mon and Tuesday. Jess and Jamie were here the past two days also which was a lot of fun. Jordan and Jamie were building the new chicken coop, it looks SOO good. I'm sure they will be posting pics on their blog soon! :) They did a very nice job though...I'm going to hire them to build my house someday I think! ;)

Well just got done with bible time and am thinking of baking something so I better get going..just wanted to update you all. :)

Thank you again for all of the prayers! :)

Life in General...

Well I am still in Missouri until this coming Friday. I had only planned on a week here but after many talks with Tara she convinced me to stay for the full 2 weeks. It's just so hard for me because after 20 min. gone from home I was wanting to be back so badly and missing them. Call me weird, but it's true! So 2 weeks has felt like forever....I'm really excited to get back on Friday. :)

Don't get me wrong though, I love my family here and have enjoyed some of the time here. This week I am actually staying at Tara's house. She is on spring break so it's nice to spend lots of time with her. Today we went to lunch and shopping some, so that was fun! I think I'm spending way too much money though! :( Although, I'm set for summer now as far as clothes go! :)

So anyway, the trip has been pretty good, spent time with the Hunt Family, photographed a wedding, did a photoshoot for a very lovely family, painted Tara's room and bathroom, helped powerwash a house with my Dad and umm..shopped I guess! :)

It seems like for all weeks to come home these were the most crucial. In a way it's been a "sobering" trip. :( I had told you all about my Grandma who was in the hospital, well so far it seems like it's all going well. We are going back up to see her tomorrow. She had her hip surgery yesterday I think. So Praise God for that, I'm pretty sure she did well through that. Well, also while I was down here I went to visit a friend of mine, Tom. He has had cancer since 2007 and is in his final stages right now. :( He called me at the end of January to tell me goodbye and I just couldn't handle that. So I've been praying that God would keep him alive until I could come back and see him myself. So I got back here and thought of Tom everyday but was scared of what I might see. Not sure I could handle it. :( I talked to Sage and told her how I had prayed and she told me that I just had to go see him, especially after praying that way. God answered my prayer and kept him alive, why wouldn't I go see him? :( So....I called up the Hunts and they went with me. Boy, was that ever hard. I think I said maybe 5 words to him. I just couldn't stop crying when I saw him. He's gotten So incredibly thin that it scared me, I didn't recognize him at all. He was in so much pain also. His testimony was amazing though. As sick as he was and as much pain as he is in he said that his goal was to just get as many people to Heaven him before he died. Then he explained that he couldn't be mad at God, because God is the giver of life and it's His to take away too. Who says we deserve 80 years? I hope that I can be like Tom when my time comes and I hope I can be an example to so many like he is. Please be praying for Tom also. He is only 28 years old and battling this. Last I heard also he fell when trying to get up and his his spine where the epidural was so it's caused lots more pain. :(

On top of all of this, I found out my stepdad has cancer again and then someone very VERY dear to me has it to. I would never imagine in my whole life she could get cancer but she has now and I'm so scared. It devastated me hearing this news and also brought back lots of old memories. I can't even say who this person is right now because everyone is keeping it very hush right now. If it's possible to pray for her without knowing who she is, please do. And soon I'll update with who it is. I realized that life was just TOO good for the last 7 weeks and that something had to go wrong soon. Then I came back here and one thing after another happened. You'd think I'd be used to this by now. I know though that God has a reason for it all and a purpose for everything He does. Through this all I've also learned what a blessing it is to have family be there for you through the valleys and on the mountain tops. (Thank you guys!)

Thanks for all the prayers on my Grandma who is int he hospital, means a lot to me! :)

Franklin Springs Contest!

Franklin Springs Family Media has just announced a fun and entertaining new contest. Submit a video or photo slideshow of you with your family, or by yourself, making a recipe featured on one or more of the Homestead Blessings DVDs; The Art of Breadmaking, The Art of Soap Making, or The Art of Candle Making. To read more about this contest and to see rules go to their website at www.franklinsprings.com or click HERE

I highly reccomend for you all to give this a try and go for it! It would be a fun thing to do with your family if your experienced or not with video.

Update on my Grandma

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for my Grandma and for me. I really really appreciate it and also let her know that there were many people out there praying for her! She says Thanks also! :) Yesterday was the first day I got to see her. Apparantly she was much better yesterday, but to me she looked pretty bad. :( I'm not good with techinical names and stuff but I'll do my best to give an update.

There appears to be NO cancer, which I am SO thankful for. Praise God! She still is in critical condition though with this infection. Seems that the infection in her body wants to try to fight off any foreign object in her body like the fake hip, pacemaker, and her port. Since her heart is still very bad the pacemaker must stay but the hip is going to come out. She is on lots of antibiotics trying to fight this infection off, but still it must come out. The port is coming out today which I was told is an easy percedure, but hip will be very tough. I remember when my Grandma got the fake hip in, she was very healthy and came out of surgery super weak and pretty bad off. Well this time she is going into surgery very weak and not so good at all. Her oncologist was hoping they could bypass this surgery, but it seems to be necessary. :( If all goes well with surgery, the plan is to put in a concrete hip for the meantime and then my Grandma will be switched to an Assisted Living place so she can have help 24/7. She wont be able to move like she can now with the concrete hip. After the 5-7 weeks there she will need to be moved to some sort of apartment or something. We were talking about it yesterday and tossed around a few ideas. She wont be able to do steps, and all the houses we have, have steps where the bedrooms are. :( So most likely she will rent an apartment for awhile and we will take care of her that way.

I'm not sure what this means for me. I of course will do whatever for my Grandma, and if she needs me there I will be there for her, but I am really missing home. I love my family here, but it's so hard being away from everyone back at home now. For the last 7 weeks or so I've had company everyday and have stayed busy and I just loved it. Today I feel lost, being at my Dad's house by myself and well having nothing to do. Mostly what I do here is txt or talk or chat online with everyone back at home! :D

Anyway, Thursday is my Grandma's hip surgery and if you all could still be praying she makes it out of surgery safely. Also be praying for my Grandpa. I can't go into too much detail, only because I dont know, but he is not doing well at ALL. A lot of mental problems it seems like. He just can't take all of this. He feels like he just went through this with my Mom and now his wife. He seems to be going dillusional. He is still in FL though and there is nothing we can do but pray for him. He has mentioned though that he can't live longer than my Grandma, he has to go first and then a few nights ago he took a ton of sleeping pills, so it's just very scary for us. Both my Grandparents are Christians, that's why I think he must be out of his mind right now, he is never like this. :(

As for other news...I shot my first wedding on Saturday for John and Audra Notgrass! Boy, was I ever nervous, I even broke out in a rash or hives or something on my arms during the ceremony....never been so nervous in all my life! :D Once the ceremony was going though I calmed down I think and it got better. I was so thankful to Joan for all the help she gave me that day too. And Nathaniel Bluedorn, he showed up at the wedding and offered for me to use his camera, what a blessing that was to me! I had two cameras then to shoot with and his camera is just SOOO nice so it was a tremendous blessing! :) Keep a look out on my photo blog and I'll post some wedding ones when I get back home and can edit some! :)

Not too much planned for the week, I'll be painting my sisters room on Wednesday and then have a photoshoot to do for a family next Saturday but other than that, its pretty much just boring! :) Hope you all have a great week!

Lee's, I love you guys so much and miss you tons! Can't wait to come back home!

My Grandma...

Not exactly an "update" post but a crying out asking you all to PLEASE pray for my Grandma (Mamaw). My Grandma who lives in FL, has recently had a lot of pain in her hip. She has already had both hips replaced so when she went to the hospital it ended up being some kind of infection. I really didn't think much of it. Well, after further searching, it seems that it is an infection in her bone and blood. The doctors there wanted to give her some kind of concrete hip and have her bed ridden for 5-7 weeks and then try do a replacement hip. Also they are possibly considering bone cancer...something I can't even let my mind consider right now as an option.


Well, to make this shorter, my Grandma left the hospital in FL without the doctors approval and will be flying to St. Louis tomorrow to get treatments there. I guess STL is known for having the best hospitals and from experience she believes it.

Please, PLEASE just be praying for her though. I have to believe that this will just be treated easily and there will be no cancer. What scares me is that the doctors in FL were saying that the infection in her blood could kill her over night if not treated right away. :( God is in control though and knows what is wrong with my Grandma. :( It's just so hard to think that this is happening.

Life surely is a journey, mountain tops and valleys. I guess I've been up on the mountain tops too long and it's time for another hard trial. :( I just don't feel ready for this one, ESPECIALLY if it's bone cancer. I watched my Mom die, and I can't do that with my Grandma also.

The plan was to go back to St. Louis tomorrow to do the wedding on Saturday. I was going to stay a week in MO, but now I think plans to come home are postponed. I don't want to stay gone too long though, I'll miss everyone so much here. I'll try to keep you all updated....

Pictures up!

Just wanted to let you all know that I have pictures from being here up on my photography blog! :) Click HERE

Here's a sneak peak though! ;)

Not so frequent blogger... :)

Okay, so I had all these great plans to write a long blog post and update you all on what's going on, but I spent my internet time talking to my dear friend Bethany instead. :( Sorry! Maybe she can update for me sometime! :)

I'll say this much....I LOVE it here! I can't imgaine not living with them now. Sometimes it is hard for me to even realize this is real, it's too good to be true in my mind. I love them all so much, they are just a wonderful family! There has been a few things that have happened and it's just been so neat to me to feel a part of a "real" family again. Not that my family wasn't real, but it's like I have my Mom back, I love Dawn just like my own mother and she treats me just like a daughter. When I was sick with a cold (AGAIN) she was so sweet to bring my my vitamins each morning adn then making me my "special" tea 3 times a day for me to drink. It was just so neat to me to see how much she cared for me, and she got me well very fast too! :)

Jordan has been a great brother too! I've always said that I wished I had an older brother living at home with me...well he isn't older than me, but he kind of acts that way...SOMETIMES! ;) It's neat though, because he isn't just like a brother to me, he's a really great friend! :) They all are! :)

Gabrielle is SO much fun! I think she's enjoyed taking my old clothes I don't want anymore and cutting them up and turning them into skirts and things! :) She is quite creative. She's been so sweet to show me how to play different things on the piano also and helping me out with cooking! :)

Christian, who is called "Cupcake" sometimes, is fun too...and funny! :D Except when he chases me around with a chicken in his hand! (Gab too) :P I've been teaching him spanish and he does SO well, an eager learner! :)

Adrian, Isaac, and Kaleb are of course loads of fun too! I never realized I get to have so many brothers!!! Boys are so much fun though! :) I enjoy doing anything with them, reading a book, playing a game, doing our workout class...doing spanish skits! ;)

Are you guys getting the idea here...?? I love them so much!

Also I was kind of worried about what Dawn's daughter Jessica would think of me coming and her husband Jamie. I guess I am still not sure what they think about it, but I love being with them and around them. They are very sweet and Tuesdays when Jess is here it's great! She's sooo sweet! :) Jamie is kind of wild, but fun! ;) :P Just kidding..he's not too bad! ;)

Well, I really should be going. I need to get some spanish done with the kids! Just know, I love it here! I'm so thankful that God brought me this family and has let me live here with them! It's too good to be true it feels like!

Hopefully I can update more soon, with real updates on what we've been doing. My computer isn't hooked up right now to internet, but when we do I can do pics and stuff. :)

Have a great week, month, year..whatever it will be till I blog again! ;)

Currently...

Okay...so I know you have all been wanting to see who won the Film Festival but...you'll have to wait! :D :D :D (I know you already know who, but I might have some fun pics to post!) There is a lot going on right now and that's why I haven't been blogging too much and am interrupting my "festival posts" AGAIN to give you an update. :)

Hmmm....where to even beging? In November I met this reallly nice family, The Lees. I had heard a lot about them but got to know Dawn through email and then she in turn talked about her family so it felt like I knew them. Well since Christmas I have been praying a ton about the possibility of moving up to IL where they live and living with their family. I'm sure you don't want all the details of how this came about but it is pretty amazing how God worked it all out and brought it about. Well God has been unbelieveable in answering prayers for us, so right now I'm in Franklin Grove, IL at the Lee's house on a "trail period" The trial period time is more for them though, to see if they can handle me! :D We are still all praying I think but I really have a peace about my decision to stay here. Lord willing we will be going back down to MO on Valentines Weekend to get some more of my stuff and I can see some of my family again. I'm getting sick of the few shirts I brought too! :D Time for change! ;)

My time here at their house has been GREAT though! We've done so many fun things! :D They've also played so many pranks on me since I've been here...or have made jokes. Like when I first got here the guys told me that they had to widen the door frames for me because of my "big hair" BAD HUH? :D :D Speaking of big hair though...I think I've been quite the influence on this family because I have some pretty interesting photos of them to post as soon as my computer gets hooked up to their internet! :D Watch out Jordan! :D :D Pranks have included asian beetles, racoon skins, mink skins, goat placentas, pizza shoved in my face, watching "outlawed" videos on my computer and listening to songs that were OFF LIMITS! Anyway...I've gotten some of them back (the goat placenta was my idea..and it went UNDER Jordan's pillow one night, but... :( sadly he slept downstairs that night and didn't even sleep on it!) UGH He got grossed out though later when he saw! :D

Spite all these pranks, I LOVE it here...love this family! I could go on and on about them and how wonderful it is, but you'll just have to meet them! :D I'll be posting pictures soon too...well maybe not Sooooon, but sometime you'll get them! okay?

Now you know what is going on though and you know I haven't fallen off the planet or anything..I'm alive! ;)

Photo Dare

Okay, I'm veering off again! :( That post WILL come soon though, okay? The festival winner I mean! :)

So, Bethany decided to change the game up some just to get me back I think! I wasn't even going to do it, and she wanted me to post THIS photo, but :( Oh boy....she had to do a lot of "makin' me feel bad" to get this posted!

It's called "PHOTO DARE"

Rules:

1. Be brave and post the scariest picture you can find of yourself.
2. Tag one other person, more if you'd like but this is a dangerous game.
3. Go hide in your closet when your done.

I'll definitely be hiding this time! This is one SCARY pic of me! I wont even explain it though!! Beware!!!!!

I will tag
same people as last time! :)

Photo Tag!

Well I am going to have to interrupt my Film Festival posts with this fun little tag! :) I'll warn you, it CAN be scary but thankfully I picked an okay hardrive so although this picture isn't good, it's not creepy like some of them I have! :D

I was tagged by my dear friend Bethany

Here's the rules

1. Choose the 4th folder where you store pictures on your computer.

2. Select the 4th picture in the folder, and post it on your blog.

3. Explain the picture.

4. Tag four people to do the same.

5. No cheating (cropping, editing, etc.)


Okay, so your wondering why Mandy and I look so tired and sunburnt and WOW, Danielle is in OVERALLS!! :Shock: ??? Well, this picture was taken on our annual fishing trip at the Lake of the Ozarks. Each May, we have this fishing trip with my Dad, we've been doing it for umm...a long time, maybe 7 or 8 years!!!! I ALWAYS wear those overalls too! :D :D It's my fishing gear! ;) My Dad does jug fishing so we go out early early morning to get the jugs and catch the big fish. This was taken after getting our fish and Mandy and I were walking back up to the cabin and getting ready to sleep some more! :) This picture is probably 4 years old...something like that!

Okay for the people I tag!!! :)

Crystal
The Twins
The Lees
Bethany, you need to do another picture...New hardrive! ;)

Film Festival!!!!!

Well Part 2, here it is! :) The day of the festival started out with a little picnic type thing in the park by the Convention Center. They did this last year for CF.org and CMF members so this year, I'm not sure who all was invited, but lots of my friends were there! :) It was great being able to see everyone before the festival actually started because from that point on things are pretty crazy! Let's see...who was there?? The Bluedorns, Naylors, Tulls, Leddens, Burns, Stephen Nasby, Nathan Daher and his friend, Chris Ong, Sarah and Kristen (the girls we met at the academy), there were just so many people...can't name everyone I guess! :D It was really nice talking with them all!

John Naylor and Helena Bluedorn

Chris Ong and Stephen Nasby-first time meeting them both

Nathanial Bluedorn

By 6:30 or so it was time for it all to start! It was so exciting just being back in that theater! The opening ceremony was quite long. Mr. Phillips started out by talking to us all and introducing some different speakers like Mr. Botkin, Mr. Swanson, R.C. Sproul Jr. and others. Then Mr. Phillips narrated while Charlie Zahm played guitar and sang. It was kind of neat I guess...I'm just not a fan of guys in kilts! :( Kind of weird for me, but his first song "Be Thou My Vision" was really REALLY good! Wish I could play guitar like that! :)
Later in the evening George Sarris did one of his performances on "Joshua and the battle of Jericho" it was...interesting! :P I think we were all getting tired from being in there so long and getting antsy to see the first movie! :) Around 9:30 they were about finished so we ran down to a different theater to see the first movie of the festival "Click Clack Jack" It was a cute movie, and had great production value! It was one fun day that's for sure, but we were ready for bed by the time the movie was over!
Friday was probably the most exciting day for me!!!! Can't wait to tell you all that happened! :D :D It started out with a great movie by the Sampley Family (sp?) "Dad the Hero of the Wild Wild West" I think everyone enjoyed it and it was quite comedic too! :) From that film we were on to the big theater to see "Secrets of Jonathan Sperry" I was probably most excited to see this film! I had read a lot about it and I LOVE Christiano films, so I knew I'd love this one as well.

The movie ended up being better than I would have guessed actually! It had me laughing a ton and crying so much by the end! Mandy and I were especially touched by this film I think. Can't wait for it to become available on DVD! :) Afterwards Rich Christiano stood up for a Q&A time for the film. Oh I forgot to say, before the film started, Mandy and I tried to go up to Rich Christiano to talk to him, but he was speaking with this other man. As soon as the conversation ended, he bolted! :D We were left standing next to this older gentleman. It ended up his name was Wendall Moody. Our last names caught eachothers attention and it was an immediate conversation starter! At the time of us talking we had no idea who it was that we were talking with! :) The movie was about to begin though and he asked Mandy and I to come up after the movie so he could introduce us to Rich!!!! So, after the film we did just that! He was in the front row and we went up to join him! Rich came down and this man introduced us like he had known us for years! :) Ends up that Mr. Moody was the man that got Rich and his brother into making Christian films! How neat, huh? He had been doing Christian films since at least 1980. He said he worked with Dean Jones in 1980 on a film, 'The Music Box'. He said he was getting ready to re-release it and gave us his email so Mandy and I could get copies of it! Such a sweet man and a blessing to man I'm sure! Of course Mandy and I couldn't walk away without getting a picture with these two guys! :)


We only saw a few more films that day, Fireproof which of course is WONDERFUL, The Prodigal Trilogy and then the LeClerc's film "The Other Son" After that Caleb, Daniel, Bethany and I went to the special reception thing for some of the Academy members! It started at 3:45 and we had planned to only stay 20 min or so, not knowing what the reception would be like. Well, I'll say this much, it was SOOOOOOOO GREAT! Another highlight of my trip! There were only like 50 people there and that included all the guys that made the feature films and the press. I was very excited for this certain someone to walk in and then in he came....KIRK CAMERON! :) Can you guys tell how excited I am?? Or was! ;) Okay, so maybe I'm playing it up some, but it WAS neat for me. I used to watch Growing Pains (not that I'm proud of that) but I've watched him since I was pretty young! lol Well when he first walked in we couldnt say hi or anything because Mr. Phillips started to talk, but he was RIGHT there behind me, I was like....woah, this is kind of weird! :) As soon as the talk was done though we got to meet him. He was such a nice guy and very much so down to earth, just a normal person! :) We've joked that I have this invisible sign around me that says "TEASE ME" because people naturally do it, and even he did. He made some sort of joke that he couldn't talk to me because I wasn't press! At first I was nervous to ask about a picture because I didn't know if he'd like it or not but after a little teasing when I asked he said yes! :) Now getting the picture was tough though, the person taking it didn't really know how to use my camera, so this picture was actually our third try! Kirk said that he was glad we got to redo it though because he was feeling guilty since he did a goofy face! :D
So after meeting him and talking to lots of other people it was time for dinner I think. :) Then on to the night session thing. This time the Von Trapp Children were there to sing...that was REALLY neat! They have amazing voices! These kids are actually the great grandchildren of Captain Von Trapp, I think. They did an amazing job!

After the singing, Stephen Kendrick and Kirk Cameron came out and did a Behind the Scenes type thing on Fireproof, it was very neat! Everyone enjoyed hearing from them I am sure!
After their talk, Mr. Phillips introduced well known actor, Dean Jones. This man has been acting for so many years. He acted in many Disney films including, "The Love Bug, Snowball Express, The Shaggy D.A, Under the Yum Yum Tree, and Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo" He also stars in a new series by Crown Financial Ministries. He started in Abraham and Isaac and then we were all So blessed to be able to be at the World Premiere of these short films!!!!
The films were incredible! They showed Abraham and Isaac, The Widow and the Oil, and The Rich Man and Lazarus. Abraham and Isaac actually had me in tears. I kind of felt silly crying over a story I had heard time and time again, but seeing this made it all so real!

Saturday, our last day there was once again a great day!!! I guess everyday was though. By Saturday though my voice was almost gone and I wasn't feeling the greatest! :( Can you tell by the pictures?? I look SOOO tired! :D Anyway Saturday was my day to see quite a few films! "Sound of a Dirt Road", some of "Pendragon", "The Widow's Might" and "Bread Alone"

In between films we had to get some pictures! ;) (Me, Sage, Helena, Mandy and Tera)

Me, Helena, Sage, and Mandy

John and I have a hard time getting pics I think...he is always being goofy and I try to straighten him out! :D

SUCCESSFUL!

Sage and I matched this day...both had tealish colored tops on and then brown skirts/pants :) Lane photoshopped this one, so we look a little umm...different! :D
Mandy and I had a friend living in San Antonio so some of us met up with him at a Starbucks right across the street. We hadn't actually "met" before so it was neat. Mandy kind of organized it all so we had a nice time chatting at Starbucks then walked around the Riverwalk some. He also came in and saw Widow's Might! What a good one to see! :) We had fun getting to know Jehred Clott though (Clott is not REALLY his last name, inside joke I guess) :)

Caleb, Mandy, Jehred, and Me

Andrew trying to hide from me!

Caleb...umm....well yea, that's him! :D

Once again a picture of my beautiful friend Besh!!! :) Enjoying her white chocolate mocha thing...I think! :P

Well, that's all for Part 2. It would have just been WAY too long to do the awards ceremony on here too!!!! Sorry! Maybe tomorrow I"ll post that! :) Hope you enjoyed it!!!!

Film Academy...

As you all know, I have been gone for the past two weeks in Oklahoma and San Antonio, TX! It was a wonderful trip! I learned lots and had tons of fun! I took almost 3000 pictures while I was gone so it's taking me a very long time to weed through them and downsize the ones I want. So you all know, none of these are edited the way I want them, but for the blog they'll just have to do! :) Also...I decided to do these blog posts in different parts! It would just be way too long to blog about, OK, New Years, The Academy and the Festival! So this is Part One I guess you could say, THE ACADEMY! This will probably be the shortest of all posts too!
Sunday, the 4th, Bethany, Caleb, Daniel, John-Clay and I all drove down to Texas. Boy, was that an adventure! If you can believe it, none of us slept, we stayed up and talked the whole time! :D :D We had some very funny conversations and well, played quite a few jokes! ;) Sorry to those who go the brunt end of them! :P John-Clay had a friend, Mr. Putz, who let us stay at his house during the academy. He was such a nice man. I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone so hospitable. Bethany and I had the entire upstairs and our own thermostat which meant we could take the temp up to 75!!! :D :D He pretty much treated us as royalty! :) Also on January 5th, the anniversary for the day my Mom passed away, he bought me roses. It was SOO sweet of him. He actually left them on the desk next to my bed and it had a card with a verse from Proverbs 31 on it. His wife had died in 2004 so he definitely knows what it is like to lose someone. :(

Okay, so on to the academy! They were about the longest days I have ever lived I think! :D Although the week went by fast, the days were slower! :) Not that I'm completely complaining though! ;) I really did enjoy the academy they just had some very VERY long lectures! The first day actually Bethany and I skipped the last "real" lecture and went out in the lobby to have fun! :) It was a three hour session on Sci-Fi Movies and well, that really didn't interest me at all! After that though there was a lecture starting at like 10:30 on photography and of course I was there! Now you have to know this...while Bethany and I were out "having fun" we did get ourselves in a little bit of trouble! :D After being silly and taking pictures of eachother we decided we wanted to go exploring some! Our first sign that we shouldn't have been doing this was probably that the escalator wasn't turned on, but we ignored that and decided to just walk up it! So first we go into this one room and Bethany's like "Oh, we should run across these chairs!" To my surprise and Bethanys, I did it! :D So after running across I went into this back room and was thinking...'where am I?' It looked like some sort of warehouse! So then all of a sudden Besh heard some keys jingling and hid. I was on the other side of the door so it wasn't that easy for me. I kept quiet for a minute, then decided to look in the room and I saw a security guard! :S As soon as he saw me I took off running! NOT a good idea!!!!!!!! So Besh and I started running, and went to go in this one room, but the door was locked, I kept thinking "oh no..what are we going to do??" So we found this other door and ran into the bathroom hoping that the security guard was a guy! (I know, I saw the person but couldn't tell if it was a girl or guy) So we got in there and I was still SO scared! SHe went in a stall and I went in the next and of course, my door wouldn't shut. I yelled to Bethany, "It wont shut, Bethany, it wont close!!!" I was soo scared! Anyway to make this short, we ended up leaving the bathroom and went directly downstairs safe from the security guards! Whew! No more adventures for us!!!!




During the Academy we got to hear a lot of good speakers, Mr. Botkin, Isaac Botkin, Stephen Kendrick, Ben Botkin, and others. I really enjoyed the talks on cinematography, color correction, storyboarding, and how to improve a film in 10 minutes! :) Although you may think I didn't pay attention much, I DID take lots of notes. Sadly though, I left them all in our hotel room. :( SOooo sad!

It was lots of fun too, seeing old friends, and new ones! :) I recognized sooo many faces and names, but wasn't sure HOW I knew them. I think I started to aggravate Bethany with saying, "Oh, I know him somehow. How do I know him?" :D One day we had a pretty long lunch break, so we all headed to the Alamo. Besides the scary encounter with the birds it was a fun trip! We met up with some friends there and had fun talking! :) I learned what the Alamo was too...(I must have skipped that history lesson in school) Okay, well these last few photos were just ones I took during the academy! I have a TON more but these were either just funny ones, or random ones I took! :) I'll just leave a caption so you know who they are.

Mr. Botkin at the end of the academy

Isaac Botkin

Stephen Kendrick and his son...his son was SOO cute and friendly!

My wonderful friend Bethany, aka Besh

Scott Eash, someone new I got to meet

Sarah, a great friend I met! :) I'll post more of her in other posts!

Chad Burns, director of Pendragon

Caleb

John-Clay

Daniel

Daniel took a picture for us one night on the Riverwalk

Jimmy Broyden- professional stuntman

Outta Here! :)

Well today is the day I leave for Oklahoma!!! :) Lately I've had a lot on my mind and just different things going on so this will be a nice trip! :) I fly into Tulsa this evening and then my friend Bethany Morris, will be there to pick me up! It will be SO great to see her again!!!! So yea, your probably wondering "why is she flying into Tulsa and not OKC?" Well for a few reason! ;) So, Besh was so kind to say she'd drive to get me there though, so it will be a nice 2 hour drive back to their house together, and I THINK Hannah Burnett will be with her, so that should be fun! :)

I'll be staying with the Morris' until the 3rd or 4th or something and then Caleb, Daniel, Bethany, me and John-Clay will be driving down to San Antonio for the Film Academy. Sometimes I wonder if I was out of my mind when buying my ticket, but too late now and I'm sure it will be fun! :) At least I get to be with friends, right? :) So then the rest of her family will be coming down around the 8th and staying for the festival! Mandy will be flying down too, so I'll get to spend time with her in Texas. Many friends of mine will be there, so it'll be a mini reunion! ;) I'm excited to see everyone! So then that goes until the 11th, and we will all drive back to the Morris' and then I fly home the 12th. I'll be a busy two weeks I am sure, but I'm looking forward to it. Also I'm going to the Naylors New Years party so it will be wonderful spending time with them as well!

I know this is a short post, but I have to get going. We are leaving in like 15 min. and I have to get my last minute things together! :) Still need to print off my ticket also..yikes! :) Better run! Hopefully I can update once or twice while gone, but I may not have any computer down in Texas so who knows!

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! And have a very blessed New Year!

Christmas Eve

EDIT:: I am getting the flu I think, so since I've been feeling SO sick I can't exactly finish this post...the pictures are going to be in a very random order! :( Sorry..


Can you believe it is STILL Christmas Eve and I've already got my pictures downsized and up on this blog!!! :) (pretty good, huh Besh?) ;) I didn't do any editing though, so THOSE kinds of pictures will be posted on my other blog, probably months from now! ;) (just kidding!) I actually decided to do this post so soon because I started really missing my Mom. I began to dwell on the fact that she isn't here and well that happens a lot when the house gets quiet. :(

Okay, so moving on...I had a wonderful evening with my sisters and Jason. Tara ended up picking me up from Kim's at 11:30 so we got to hang out most of the day! :) We wrapped presents, looked at wedding photographers, just talked and well...oh, went to the grocery store! :) Then Mandy came there when she got off work around 3:30. Once she got there we started to do our gift exchange, which was fun! We were all being silly! We'd pick up the gift and try to guess what it was! Some guesses were a hamster, dog, toaster...all things that definitely didn't match the description of the box! :D It was funny! :D Jason started the unwrapping first with a new bottle of cologne from Tara. (Oh, the Jason I am referring to is Tara's boyfriend) :) So I guess I'll let the pictures explain most of the rest! Let's see some of the gifts were cologne, video game, bath and body works stuff, air freshener (LOL), socks, shirts, lip balm, iPhone cases, kitchen stuff, back massager for your chair, and much more!! :D Tara told me before hand.."Danielle, it'd be so funny for people to see what I got you!" Now I see why..one thing was the air freshener. One might ask WHY she'd get me that, but the reason is...Tara's house smells SOOOoooOO good! :) And she has this thing that every so often sprays out this really good smell! :) So, I mentioned how much I liked and it and she got me one! :) Also the socks...we were discussing how I am totally out of socks, so I just dont wear any! :D :D Well she got me two packages of socks!!! lol Anyway, it was kind of funny!

For Tara I did a memory board type thing for her. She told me many times that she wanted pictures of my Mom but I had them all, so finally it clicked and I decided to do this for her. I was kind of scared what she would think of it, but she ended up liking it I think.

Well, Mandy is up now so maybe I wont be quite so lonely! :) When we got home I played with Luke for awhile and then came down to just read my bible and write. So then Mandy came down a little while later and I read out of Luke to her, the Christmas Story. Well, she has been on meds since she is sick and they wipe her out, so when I was done reading she was snoring away! ;) (she'll get mad if she sees this!) :D :D

Guess I should get to bed so I'm rested up for tomorrow!! Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! Let's keep our focus on Jesus, the TRUE meaning of Christmas!

Lots of thinking...

For many different reasons today has been a difficult day for me. I feel like that in life I am constantly being stretched. Almost like God is pulling me as far as I can go until I just bust. I know He isn't and that my perception is just wrong, but I feel like I'm there...I'm ready to just burst! I feel like giving up.....not on the Lord but on life. One of the hardest things for me I think is reading others blogs or talking with friends who have "normal" lives. I hear about all these fun things they do, or see pictures from get togethers. Then I see family pictures and hear stories of what they did as a family and I just hurt SO much inside when all this happens. I know what's wrong with me...I'm jealous, and it's not good at all, but I want that SO bad. I want to have good friends near by and a family that all lives together and loves the Lord and has a similar vision. I know this wont happen though, not right now anyway. God has me in this situation for a reason but like I said, I feel like I can't be stretched anymore. :(

I'm encouraged by many verses though, and as I prayed about all this tonight I just decided to open up to Psalms and start reading.

Psalm 18:6 "In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears"

Pslam 16:1-11 "PRESERVE me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust. O my soul, thou hast said unto the Lord, Thou art my Lord: my goodness extendeth not to thee; But to the saints that are in the earth, and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight. Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god: their drink offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take up their names into my lips. The Lord is my portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot. The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a godly heritage. I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou wilt shew me the path of life; in they presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. "

I have studied this passage quite a bit tonight. And at first it was like, "Okay Lord, what am I supposed to learn from this?" In the first verse it is like David is fleeing to God for protection, having confidence that He will be protected. I feel like this a lot and tonight especially. I know that my only help, safety, comfort, comes from resting in Him. Then it's almost as David commits himself completely to God and rejects any practices of the world as in blood offerings to other gods. He rejoices in the Lord being his inheritance and gives all glory to God. This is what I want. I want to reject what the world is telling me and completely commit myself to Him. What we have here on earth is only temporary but I'm looking forward to eternity. Like David, I want to reject what the world is telling me (getting a loan, dating, moving out, etc.) and seek the Lord and do HIS will! And in this world sorrow is our lot, but in Heaven there is joy, REAL joy. Our pleasures here are temporary, but at His right hand, the pleasures are forevermore. Hallelujah! I'm looking forward to that!

Anyway, that probably made no sense at all. I'm so scattered brained right now I think, but I wanted to write to get some of this out..and hopefully I can fall asleep now too. :) It helps me a lot to write and makes the crying stop! ;)